Numbers: 26-30:The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: “How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very thing I heard you say: In this wilderness your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.
These are the people whom God just delivered from Egypt with amazing wonders, 10 horrible plagues and parting the Red Sea. But their inheritance was taking longer than they thought it should and while Moses was up on the mountain meeting with God, the people made idols and worshipped them just as they had in Egypt, like God had never shown up. Can you blame God for being mad?
Yikes...how many times has the Lord heard me grumble? Um...more than the hairs on my head I'm sure. Especially when the vision is taking too long. My grumbling, my complaining, my faithlessness is detrimental to my future and my promise. And what impacts me deeply is that other's inheritance is dependent on my actions. I am mistaken if I think that my disobedience only hurts me. I don't want to lose my inheritance because I lose my faith. And I most certainly don't want others to miss the blessing because I took my eyes off Him. God knows human nature and that is it normal to get down and question circumstances. But only stay there for a moment. Recognize those feelings and thoughts and stop them by taking them to the Throne. Stop and pray and ask God to give you strength and restore your faith. We absolutely can not sit down in those thoughts. Get up and walk toward Him. It's the only way to the Promised Land.
Mom, there are no words to describe what you mean to me. You are the most self-less person I know and I learned to love people by watching you all my life. Thank you for always standing by my side, even when I was wrong. Countless times you have stood in the shadows and watched me shine with that proud momma look I love so much. Thanks for cheering for me, at every volleyball match, at every pageant, at every milestone. Thank you for always standing on the Word of God. I know you wish you could quote it like Dad can, but you don't need to, you live it every day of your life and because of you I walk passionately with Him. Thank you for every kiss when I am hurt, every hug when I am down, and every prayer you ever breathed. You are so special to me.
What an emotional roller coaster the past few days have been. I definitely am emotionally drained. I'm glad that it is the weekend and that the waters have calmed down. On Thursday I took Lacey to her first modeling open casting call. Of course she was her cute sweet self and they loved her and asked her to come back for a callback the next day. We left the casting call and got home when I received a phone call from my Momma. They were on their way to the doctors because my dad had hurt himself pretty badly. I met them at the doctors to pick up Gracie Bear from them. When I saw my daddy my heart sank. He was as pale as he could be, white as a ghost and was in a fog. Just not himself. Not my daddy. It scared me. I went in with them to the doctors for a few minutes and then left to take the girls home. Once we were home my Momma called me and said that the doctor was so concerned about him that they were going to have an ambulance come get him to transport him to the ER at Kennestone Hospital. I called Josh and he came home from work and we left to go meet my parents at the ER. Apparently what had happened is that my dad and another guy from the church were working around the church. My dad was mowing the yard. He decided to move the picnic tables with a dolly like he has done many times before. He moved the first one. Then went to move the second one and some how something happened (we're not sure cause my dad can't remember it) and it got unbalanced and knocked my dad over. He landed on his left side on the concrete and then the picnic table fell on top of him hitting him in the temple and right side of his face. We are so thankful that Roy was there. He didn't see it happen but heard the commotion and was able to go over and get the table off of my daddy. Once in the ER I was able to go back to the room with my parents. My daddy looked MUCH better and had more color in his face because they put an IV with fluids in him. The staff at Kennestone was absolutely amazing and took such great care of my daddy. They took him for a catscan and thankfully it came back all clear and they said that he could be discharged. My daddy has many bumps, bruises and scrapes as well as a really sore back and head. But, we are so thankful that there was serious injury. It really could've turned out much worse. The Lord definitely was protecting my daddy that day!
On Friday it was an emotional day as well at work. I was exhausted from being drained from the day before with my daddy. Then a job that I thought I was going to get at work fell through. Now mind you, I had been praying about this job for several months and had told the Lord that if it wasn't his will to shut the door. So when it didn't work out I was okay with that decision. However, there were other circumstances involved that made it so disappointing and broke my heart. I really wanted the job. I know I would've done a great job with the job. Oh well. Their loss. The Lord obviously has something even better in store for me. So now I stand and wait for Him to show me what that is. I know what my heart wants, but, just waiting to see if He'll open that door. Anyway, I took Lacey to her call back after work. They did a test photo shoot to see how she would do in front of the lights and camera. The little girl before her would not stop crying and wouldn't smile for the camera. They kept trying and trying but she just kept crying. Then they called Lacey and they wanted me to put her in the bouncy seat. She was smiling at them before I even got her in the seat. They didn't have to take very many pictures because she was just so happy and cute as could be. They said that she did an awesome job. Now we'll just wait to see if we hear something. :-)
Today, I'm hanging out with Lacey. We're about to head out and finish up some Mother's Day shopping for her grandma's. Josh and Echoing Angels are in Canton filming some acoustic tunes for a video. Then later on tonight we're going to have dinner with some friends of ours to celebrate our friend Stefanie's birthday. Should be a fun night.
Then tomorrow, looking forward to celebrating my first mother's day! :-) Very excited!
I can't wait for the weekend to start! It officially begins for me at 4. Jon and his dad have been working so hard on our property clearing it out and planting us a garden. It is really starting to look good. I'm going to go home and help with what I can on this beautiful day. Jon asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day. I told him a few things I wanted to do tonight, so I think he is going to watch the boys while I do that.
Tomorrow afternoon we are going to Trey and Emily's for a cookout. I am really looking forward to this. The guys are shooting a video of them doing thier songs accoustically at this old, beautiful church that Megan and Neil got married in. Not sure if we are eating before or after- nonetheless we are getting to hangout! :-)
Sunday the guys are playing at a church in Hamilton, GA. I think I am just going to go to my church. Afterwards, Jon is going to meet up with me and the rest of his family at a restarurant that we are taking his mom to. I am so excited that God has allowed me to experience motherhood. As you mothers know, there aren't words to describe the love a mother has towards her children. It truly is indescribable.
As I was thinking about what I wanted to do for my mom for Mother's day, I stopped reflected on the mom that the Lord blessed me with. She is such a woman of strength. She raised 5 girls all on my dad's income. She sure knew how to stretch a dollar as well as keep her sanity with so many girls in the house. She was the oldest girl in her family and also helped to raise her two younger sisters. I obviously didn't know my mom when she was growing up, but I could definitely see her being a leader in her family as well in school. She is also a woman of great independence. This is a trait she definitely passed on to her daughters. Dad worked a lot and she stayed at home with us. She didn't have anyone while she was raising us to help her out with baby-sitting, if they needed a little extra money to help pay a bill, or anything else that we sometimes depend on our parents for. Since she wasn't accustomed to leaning on others, she learned to take care of her family herself. My sisters and I learned at a young age that if you want something, you need to work for it. Most of us put ourselves through college all while working at the same time. Mom and Dad didn't have the money to put all of us through college, so if we wanted to go, then we would have to find a way to do it. She is a woman of small stature, but don't let her size fool you. She is quite feisty! :-) I see a lot of her in Journey. The other day he was pitching a fit and she said, "Boy he has a little temper, I wonder where this comes from?" I just looked at her and said, "Really??"
She has 11 grandchildren, all of which absolutely adore her. To be honest, everybody adores her. She is very real. There isn't anything fake about her. What you see, is what you get. She made our house a home and when I was growing up, our house was where everybody wanted to hang out. Even when I left home, some of the people I grew up with still came by to see my parents. They are very welcoming and accepting of people. My mom has such a warm spirit and is always willing to fix a home-cooked meal on the fly. When I was growing up, there were so many times I had friends over and she would just whip up something for us to eat. I believe this to be her love language- if there is one about cooking. This may have been another reason we always had people over- she was/is an awesome cook. To this day if anyone comes over, especially her family, she always wants to fix us some food. She truly has a servant's heart and has always put others before herself. She is one of the most humble, loving people I have ever met. I pray I grow into half the mom she was/is to me.
I could go on and on about my mom because she truly has so many qualities that I admire. She is my best friend, my confidant, and has shown me unconditional love all the days of my life. I am so blessed to call her MOM.